He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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