Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
