and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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