The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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