Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
