whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
