I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize