the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
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