Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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