where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize