all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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