sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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