I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She even gives head with a lisp.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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