She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
