NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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