I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
