OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
