Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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