youre lurking in front of me
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
