So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
