Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I will be naked everywhere
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
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