If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
