I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Congratulations! We have a period
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