I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
