Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize