so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
