I am in a vortex of obligation.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
