he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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