Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
