Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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