Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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