And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Randomize
