Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
