It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize