Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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