What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Randomize
