nut hugger
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
