I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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