So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
