white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
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