before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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