I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i think i have herpe
just one?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
