Me. At least after what I've been through.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
