Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
