Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
