his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
