I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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