dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize