on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
