Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize