ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
