i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
