I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
