I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
