umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
