You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
