Your tits are I can't wait for
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
