he thought i was a dude.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
