Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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