Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
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