I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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