i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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