school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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