____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Randomize
