The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
