Sponge bath it is.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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