It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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