So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
