Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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