I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
