i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
