I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
