Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
