I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You did what with his pubic hair?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
