Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
