DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
