Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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