I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
