I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
